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2) Sex has to be learned, it’s not like breathing or blinking.

So if two people have never had sex and they decide to start having sex, it might not be much fun at first.

I received a compelling email from a senior in high school and I would love to get your help answering it.

It’s such a sincere, honest email with such heartfelt questions about an important topic. Here’s the email (with her name changed and any identifying facts removed): Hi Gabrielle, My name is Lisa and I’m a senior in high school living in a medium-size city in Utah (I’ll be heading to BYU in the fall). I’m emailing you for advice among all people in the world because a) you’re a mom b) you’re LDS, and c) I like what you have to say especially about tricky topics like this. Today I was talking to my college age sister about a terrible law of chastity lesson I had in seminary and explained my frustration about how Mormons have such an unhealthy way about discussing sex.

Also, you didn’t mention same sex attraction, so I’m going to assume you are talking about sex between women and men: 1) You can read all about sex, and have lots of conversations, and feel like an expert.

But until you’re actually having sex on a regular basis, a lot of what you learn or hear won’t really be helpful or make sense.

I’ve had sex thousands of times and I’m still learning stuff (there’s always some new trend or new term I’ve never heard of before).

So keep asking questions, and don’t feel embarrassed about it.

In addition to your parents, I hope you will also ask other adults in your life (teachers, church leaders, aunts) for open conversations about sex.The experience of sex is so personal, and everyone you talk to will have experienced sex differently in small or big ways. Here are some things from my own experience with sex that might help. From your letter, I get the idea you’re looking for real advice, more than just a reassurance that sex is good.My apologies in advance if this is too deep a dive.The same thing is true for so many of life’s experiences, so it’s not just a sex thing.Just know that no matter how much you know ahead of time, there will still be plenty of things to learn even after you start having sex.




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If he is there for you, if he is considerate of you, if he goes out of his way for you, if he opens up to you, he loves you. Look, I don’t think I’m making any radical claims by saying men are the less communicative of the two genders.


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