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Faced with a never-ending stream of singles to choose from, many feel a sense of ‘FOMO’ (fear of missing out), so they opt for a speed-dating approach—cycle through lots of suitors quickly.“That also means that suitors need to keep dates cheap and casual. You’re lucky to get a drink.“‘It’s like online job applications, you can target many people simultaneously—it’s like darts on a dart board, eventually one will stick,” said [a 26-year-old] branding coordinator in Manhattan, describing the attitudes of many singles in their 20s. Over the decades in the Western world, traditional dating was gradually overtaken by the high school “going steady/boyfriend-girlfriend” approach.

The mass-mailer approach necessitates ‘cost-cutting, going to bars, meeting for coffee the first time,’ he added, ‘because you only want to invest in a mate you’re going to get more out of.’”Many genuinely want to find someone special and while they are using every means to meet someone—whether online or in person—they know something is wrong with the current dating landscape. Those who did not find a romantic counterpart in this way would then often be initiated into the bar/nightclub scene, where they could hope to find someone who may want to hook-up—meaning anything from kissing to having sex—which could eventually lead to the two parties becoming friends with benefits, boyfriend and girlfriend, or possibly even lead to marriage years down the road.

Then there’s the issue of dating etiquette, which doesn’t appear to exist at all, and since there aren’t any rules, dating behavior ranges from polite to rude…But trying to go slow in a dating world that operates at supersonic speed is difficult, because it’s really easy to get caught up in the partnering race.

There’s enormous pressure, both self-imposed and societal, to be in a relationship.

That said, they are unsure of how to address the root of the problem. With the rise of the hook-up culture has come a change in the overall mentality behind dating.

Step back for a moment and ask: Is modern dating truly normal? The focus in the 21st century is less about finding someone to date, court and marry than finding someone who can be fun “for the moment.”“Raised in the age of so-called ‘hookup culture,’ millennials—who are reaching an age where they are starting to think about settling down—are subverting the rules of courtship,” The New York Times reported.“Instead of dinner-and-a-movie, which seems as obsolete as a rotary phone, they rendezvous over phone texts, Facebook posts, instant messages and other ‘non-dates’ that are leaving a generation confused about how to land a boyfriend or girlfriend.“‘The new date is “hanging out,”’ said [a 24-year-old] associate television producer in Manhattan, who is currently developing a show about this frustrating new romantic landscape.

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Ken Solin, who wrote The Boomer Guide to Finding True Love Online, detailed his experience in a self-authored column titled “Dating Over 50: Going Slow Instead of with the Flow”: “Online dating profiles don’t really explain a person, and chemistry requires a face-to-face, so online dating has its limitations.Ask any 20-something and he or she has probably signed up for any number of smartphone apps or online dating sites.Older adults are also applying by the millions for online matchmaking sites or participating in speed-dating sessions.In addition, the constant searching, spending time with a person, becoming intimate with them, finding it does not work out, and then moving on to the next person, leaves a void in both men and women’s lives, and in many cases, makes them unable to be vulnerable with another person and trust him or her, which is key to a relationship.“About a third of men (32%) and women (34%) say they are not sure whether they should marry when or if they find themselves in a committed, exclusive relationship,” an American Association of Retired Persons study on habits of singles between the ages of 40 and 69 stated.“Another third of men (34%) say they would cohabitate, compared to about a fifth (21%) of women.




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