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As she told me, “More women in Russia nowadays are okay with being in a serious relationship with a married guy.” Astonishingly, Druckerman goes on to remark that “it was clear that Russian men flaunted [their] demographic advantage.

With the exception of a pastor (who was sitting with his wife at the time), I didn’t meet a single married man in Russia who admitted to being monogamous.” Compare that to the United States, where statistics on adultery are notoriously unreliable due to the fact that people won’t admit to being unfaithful.

In her book Pamela Druckerman writes that “in Moscow, women in their forties told me that, by necessity, they only date married men.

That’s because…the life expectancy for Russian men has fallen so sharply (to 59) that by age 65 there are just 46 men left for every 100 women.” Tessa thinks this is true for younger women as well.

It’s assumed that this is because the Russians are aching to move away.

But really it’s because men are such a rare commodity in Russia.

Reminiscent of a bygone era, the press in Russia is forbidden by law to write about President Vladimir Putin’s own dalliances, but that doesn’t prevent them from being commonly known.

It’s pretty much accepted in Russia that Putin, who has been married since 1983, has had a long-term affair with Alina Kabaeva, a former Olympic gymnast, and even that he is the father of her child, born in 2009.

The Russian I was seeing was married at the time of our relationship.

It’s harder to grasp why Russia has more women than men.

Many years of the one-child-per-family law and an overwhelming preference for sons made abortion and infanticide of baby girls almost de rigueur.

This fact seemed to neither surprise nor particularly bother any of the Russian parties involved.

He recently told me that after our relationship ended, he picked up with someone else. “I am not an easy type.” You can almost hear the shrug.




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